You can change if you want to change

I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately.

Often, we say we want to change, but our actions don’t map to what we say.

And the interesting part is, we blame our inaction to our past or our environment.

Many people, who follow Freudian etiology, are busy searching for faults in one’s past.

“I’m always angry because of my bad father.”

“I really want to write a book, but my job is too stressful.”

“If only I had X amount of money, I’d be so happy.”

“Oh my god! She is so pretty. If only I wasn’t so shy, I would have talked with her.”

But what if the fault is neither of our past nor of our environment?

What if the real reason of your inaction is your own lack of courage?

If you think about it, life is inheranty simple. We make it complicated.

People act in order to achieve a goal or other; not because the past or environment forced them to do it.

That means, everyone can change if they want to change.

I think we fail to change ourselves because keep making decisions not to change.

And we do so because we are afraid.

Let’s take an example – I have a friend, who tells me that she wishes to have a creative career. But every time I recommend her to take up a class or a course, she says, “But I’m not creative.” or “There’s just too much work.” or some other excuse.

But is that the truth? I doubt it.

Maybe, the real reason is that she wants to leave the possibility of “I can do it if I try” open, by not trying at all? Maybe she’s too afraid to step in the battlefield and subject her work to criticism & judgement – and mostly scared to death of facing the reality that she might actually not have the talent for it.

Down the line, she might start using other excuses like “I’m too old” or “I’ve too many responsibilities” or “I’m a mom now.”

You see my point?

I know it is a tough pill to swallow.

But as they say, the stronger the medicine, the better it heals.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Shoot me an DM.

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